I figured I'd continue with my recent tradition of having a guest writer on Friday by posting Roboto's rebuttal to "Why Pretzels are Wack."
"Pretzel Rebuttal" by Roboto
Wow, I can't believe nobody came to my poor friend, Mr. Pretzel's defense! I'll give it the old college try.
Dry foods are amazing. It must be some sort of masochistic thing in me, but I could eat an entire loaf of bread, toasted, no butter, no jelly. Dry.
Tell me you've never started eating saltines without a glass of water, only to look down and realize that you've eaten almost the entire sleeve? And then you actually contemplate opening another sleeve because, yes, dry saltines are just that good.
The pinnacle of pretzel delight would be the Rold Gold Honey Wheat Braided Twists. MAN! Rather than air, carbohydrates and salt, somehow Frito Lay, makers of Rold Gold, have used unicorn breath and honey-laden carbohydrates, and then dusted them with angel freckles. Seriously, they're DELICIOUS!
The soft pretzel--though delicious, as you said--really can't be considered a pretzel, so let's just throw that argument out the window.
An entire bag of popcorn, nothing to drink? FANTASTICALLY dry. Toss in some pretzels to liven up the popcorn and I'm instantly brought to my childhood of watching Charlie Brown and his gang eating such an amazing snack for Thanksgiving.
If Charlie Brown is cool with it, so am I.
Obama/Biden/Pretzels - '08!!
Friday, February 27, 2009
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1 comment:
Childhood nostalgia can breath magic into just about anything...including the mighty pretzel. I, for one, sitting awkwardly neutral on this issue, believe that Roboto should write more...on pretzels, on this blog, on life, and perhaps a bit of fiction. But maybe I'm just dreaming.
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