Skipping School to Build a Limo from Toothpicks and Hot Dog Water by William P.

It's prom season and a lot of kids skip school in the days (and sometimes even weeks) leading up to it. I needed a student to help explain this phenomenon to me. William P. delivered, as he always does, with style:

I think the reason people skip school for prom is because they just want an excuse to miss school. It doesn't take twelve hours to get ready for anything.

On second thought, maybe it does. I mean, first you have to sew your tux or dress, then you have to kill a cow to get the leather to make your shoes. That alone would take like six hours. Then to top it all off, you have to build a limo from scratch using only toothpicks and a boiler full of old hot dog water. MacGyver could do this in fifteen minutes flat, but for the everyday person, it would most likely take one hour, twelve minutes and fifty four seconds.

After that, you have to drive all the way to school, which we all know takes at least four hours. And with gas prices the way they are now, many people had to sell their homes just to come to prom.

I feel bad for these people, they are Americans just like you and me. You are heartless for expecting them to go to school and I hope one day you realize it.