Hooray for Square Root Day!!! by guest writer, Roboto

Do you know what bothers me most about flies? Not that they land on you and supposedly throw up or that they’re dirty and irritating. It’s not even that when one hovers around you it makes you all self conscious as if people are looking at you wondering, “Geez, I wonder why that guy didn’t shower today…”

Though irksome, those qualities pale in comparison with what bothers me most about flies– the randomness of their flight. There’s no pattern to what they do! Long flight, short flight, short, short, long, buzz, wing-flap, long, long, hidden somewhere, short, buzz, etc. GAHHHH!!!

It’s randomness that bothers me--when things don’t wrap themselves up into nice, neat little packages. It’s the wobbly stool or the lid that just doesn’t quite fit just right.

And then a gift such as today comes. I was reminded by two friends that today is Square Root Day. To put it plainly, 3 X 3 = 9 (today’s date: 3/3/09), or the square root of 9 is 3.

Now we’re talking perfection. Look at how perfect that is! The SAME number multiplied by ITSELF equals…well, it equals beauty, quite frankly. We’re talking division with no remainders. I mean three teams consisting of three people each. Nobody’s left out. No team resigned to say, “Fine, we’ll take the fourth person,” or opposition to say, “That’s not FAIR! Why do THEY get 4 people?!?” You couldn’t wipe the smile off my face today if you tried.

Square roots are mathematical beauty. They are the numeric equivalent of coloring inside the lines. Square roots, and conversely squared numbers, are like getting out of your car and realizing you parked perfectly…evenly spaced on both sides. Ever go to the store and get a thrill when they tell you your total is $12.00 EXACTLY, including tax? You know that little extra smile that brings you? Yeah, that’s what Square Root Day does for me.

Now, I know you might be thinking, wow, this guy really loves math. Yes, I do. I’ll own up to it. I’m an unabashed math nerd. And it’s days like today, and the other eight Square Root Days that happen every century, that make up for all the times someone leaves the radio or TV volume fixed on a prime number. *shudder*

HAPPY SQUARE ROOT DAY!!